All Dolled Up: Women Empowerment or Modern Day Sexism?

Illustrations by Mai Manaloto Taynton
Follow us on Instagram #MaryAnnClothing

I dress to impress… myself. I love the way my kabuki brush set caress my cheeks, the decadent armory my lace brassiere emulates, and how my monogram designer handbag elates me. All these delightful effort made me think about the “dolled-up” aesthetic I eagerly want to achieve. The Barbie doll look exudes feminine style, thin, tanned, and long hair aesthetic. A look that is as feminized as it could possibly be with its’ muse being the iconic fashionista, Barbie who is unapologetically female. With the role of fashion as a tool for self-expression and individuality, why would most women like myself want to look the same, all dolled-up like Barbie? I found myself pondering whether the dolled-up aesthetic a form of women empowerment or modern day sexism.

During the middle ages women had little or no part to play in society at large, only domesticated roles apply. Marriage was a career path for women, holding a position of a wife and being promoted to a mother was ideal. By the 18^th century the idea of women is defined by her male partner with her relationship with him significantly determines her value. And the more successful the man, the more valuable she becomes. Fast forward to the 21^st century, women are still fond of successful men. However, having a sought-after accomplished man brings with it fret and insecurity. The female partner may be bothered by all the attention and possibly flirtation her man gets from other women. As a result, she becomes enormously well groomed, careful about her look, and turns into a picture of perfection such as Barbie to eliminate competition. Consciously or not, perhaps why women get all dolled-up is because they are aware that part of their role is to boost their partners’ masculinity. This presents an underlying concept much like the middle ages, that women’s status still centers around possession and being part of the masculine package. The package being, if you are a successful man, you get access to beautiful objects.

But is it really all about gender power play when it comes to dainty dressing? In my personal opinion, I don’t think so. It is such a narrow mindset to still view women as objects and a disservice to judge a woman because she chooses to embrace her sexuality through her looks. It teaches us to believe that a woman’s sense of self is shameful when instead it should be taught that a woman’s body and how to portray it is her business. It is best to not project what you’d like to think or assume sexism is at play when someone decides to dress a certain way because you are most likely mistaken. Sure, there can be an underlying element of patriarchy system in place when women decide to look extremely feminine but at the same time it is a choice. And isn’t the fundamental principal of feminism choice. Fashion is a powerful tool and it’s a space where women dominates with a market valued at 1.5 trillion dollars by 2020. Fashion can also be a language and it speaks for itself (check-out the figure) – even encouraging the well being of all women. There are many factors why women choose their wardrobe, however women decide to dress it is still a form of choice she made for herself.

Empowerment is all about confidence and fashion is a perfect tool to reflect that. Power dressing can elevate this by creating sartorial confidence. Sartorial confidence can be achieved in simple ways such as adding flare to women style by wearing key accessories that enriches simple clothing – this is also called an enhancer which instantly adds flamboyance to everyday wear. Anyone with a love for fashion will not deny the reality that clothing help boost their spirit, talent, and skills within regardless of what type of aesthetic it is – even the dolled-up Barbie look with its revealing clothing style. Regardless of the motivation behind why women wears a certain look, it’s worth noting that when it comes to body and self expression, each of us has the right to explore it and present it however we like and to suggest otherwise is to imply that it is inferior to do so and a form of deprivation of basic enjoyable human experience. Learning to accept that women are solely responsible for their individual appearance will be a big step in the right direction.

The problem with modern day feminism is instead of respecting other women’s sartorial and lifestyle choices, it promotes public shaming and judgment. This is the mistake with modern feminist. We do not accept that our sensuality and sex appeal as an asset and instead portrayed as a weakness. It also failed to recognize that not all docile and dainty women are powerless, when in truth femininity itself is power. Power is influence, it gives the ability to set the course of your own life and provide opportunities to rule, be free, to buy, to own and to create. For a long time, women have been led to believe that being feminine is a weakness, when if fact it is a strength. This is the case because the traditional visible models of what constitute as power are inherently masculine such as achievement, progress, muscles, and money. This definition does not necessarily apply to women because we do not present our strength through our bank account and material wealth. Instead, we release varied forms of force such as energy, intellect, character, connection and relationship. These are invisible forms of power and therefore, not valued as much because they can’t be quantified. 

Competition is key in masculine power play because the male approach to success has to be measurable, otherwise it can’t be quantified and compared. But for women, how do we measure the subtle ways of influence and living a life that feels good rather than a life that looks good? How do we measure love, care, deep connection and bonds? These are important areas women excel at and we’ve always had feminine power which has equal weight as masculine power. The key to being an empowered female is being authentic to yourself and understanding that there is no use competing with men because we do not have their bodies, physical strength, and different biological and emotional built. We do however get to dress-up, wear make-up, be emotional, have endless possibility as professionals and all other feminine things men can’t do.

A new paradigm for the artificial is submerging with dolled-up empowered women at centerline. A woman’s decision to explore fashion has nothing to do with her personal worth and morals. It simply is just a choice to express who she is, how she feels and a sense of personal style. She may be trying on a new style or got a new pair of heels. A woman’s attire also does not signify attention seeking nor is it a form of invitation or consent to sexual activity. So many are so quick to judge and shame women on the basis of physical appearance and it is disparaging. When we are so quick to judge and assume perhaps it’s best to consider our own insecurities because it could hinder us from seeing a dolled-up lady for her bravery and unapologetic feminine self-preference. The simple truth to this topic is most often women present themselves in ways that make them feel good about themselves. She likes how she looks on that outfit with her make-up and hair extensions on. She doesn’t do it for her man, the community or to please her peers. It is just for herself and personal pleasure. We don’t need to overcomplicate motives for wanting to look like a Barbie doll. Besides women make their own money now and are free to buy whatever they fancy.

  

Artificial Intelligence in Fashion: Man or Machine-Made Designs

 ILLUSTRATIONS BY MAI MANALOTO TAYNTON
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Integration of technology in fashion for the last decade has been a novelty at best, there simply isn’t much demand for it. Fashionista’s enjoy the simplicity and static nature of clothing as well as it’s purpose to cover, express, and adorn the body. Perhaps this is the case because something as superficial as fashionable clothing is never expected to save lives or perform arithmetic. Apart from aesthetic, clothing is expected to be utilitarian – meaning useful or functional. Examples of how this translate in garments can be having pockets in a trouser to put small valuable objects, breathability material of cotton to aid in hot weather and assist perspiration, or cushion in the soles of footwear for comfort. Artificial Intelligence is hardly evident in the actual output of fashion. It made me wonder, is AI even applicable in the fashion industry? 

There is a dispute when it comes to the integration of AI in fashion given the creativity involved in the domain. Some would refute that technology can only take us so far and only human beings are capable of being creative. The current state of AI is that it is not evolved enough to be as creative as fashion designers and artists. It still lacks wider human perspective that is essential in creativity such as imagination, appreciation, culture and emotion. However, AI is paving its way to the supply end of the fashion industry. From chatbots that assist you when shopping to helping buyers envision their sartorial thoughts by providing an image or color. AI algorithms have the capacity to give an equivalent or comparable image to help fashion consumers make a decision. Other technological advances being incorporated in the fashion landscape is the use of 3D printing to provide real-time, on-demand, and personalized goods. Digital wallets are growing popularity with the rise of mCommerce and eCommerce where individuals with smartphones can do their shopping through mobile business apps that provides simple payment services with digital wallets choices. 

Data sciences are being used to enhance retail by augmenting the mobile eCommerce landscape. AI enhances the quality of search result by recommending consumers the right garment for the best price. It is also capable of predicting the future trends in fashion through prediction algorithms. AI is capable of investigating in bulk which items fashion savvy individuals are looking at the most and liking, providing data driven algorithm with an objective to set trends. Big data is being used as a tool for retailers to remain competitive in terms of its pricing plan. Retailers can use the aid of machine learning and AI algorithms that can predict stock levels, price points, and discount plans to stay ahead of competitors. All these technological advances are shrinking the supply chain and cost in the fashion industry.

With all the technological advances and application of AI in the fashion supply chain, could data scientists replace fashion designers? And would consumers prefer machine-made or human-made designs? This is an interesting ground in the fashion industry that needs further discourse. The current state of AI is that it is perceived as a technological tool for fashion designers to use. And just because AI is capable of providing data insight and performing mundane task in a short span of time, it does not guarantee that everything it produces will become a hit especially when the discourse is about sartorial taste. However, the efficacy of AI in consumer analytics is irrefutable. There will always be pros and cons when technology is being applied in any industry, whichever the case may be, the world is big enough and consumers are diverse enough for both human and machine-made designs to have a place in the fashion industry.  

The Blonde Ambition: The Revolutionary Purpose Of The Artificial

  

 ILLUSTRATIONS BY MAI MANALOTO TAYNTON

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There is a long history for artificial blondeness, however when an Asian does go blonde, it’s a whole new discourse. In my previous blogpost I have noted that the technical definition of clothing is anything that is attached or altered on the body. This includes not only textiles draping ourselves but body modifications as well such as tattoos, implants, and hair colors. In this blogpost, the discourse will center around the symbolism of going blonde for the purpose of transcending racial divides as well as using hair color as an instrument for individuation and a vehicle to perpetual identity transformation. For centuries, women have manipulated nature in the name of beauty or individual identity, and every person have their own idea of what they consider beautiful. This is why it’s common to change hair colors – a blonde going brunette, a red-head turning blonde and so on. But when an Asian changes their hair color from jet black to blonde, there seems to be tropes associated with it compared to their western counterpart. Artificial looking hair color has become widespread especially in today’s fashion trend phenomenon where blonde Asians are in.

When a person with an Asian descent goes blonde, it does not necessarily mean they do so for the sole desire to mirror Western beauty ideals. Going blonde may hold a nexus of beliefs, preference, and place in society. In the fashion industry, a drastic hair change is shockingly powerful and garb individuals love a strong look – nothing is more extraordinary than taking an ink jet black hair to light blonde. In recent decades, Asians are able to hold a strong voice in the fashion industry. Whereas in the past, the concept of fashion and the direction where it’s headed has solely been dictated by the West. The new found equality in the fashion playground, being regardless of race, is perhaps one reason why Asian’s are embracing the bold blonde hairdo. It can be a symbolic attribute to transcend race and a vehicle to go beyond origin. This concept does not necessarily mean removing yourself from your roots nor does bleaching your hair automatically mean you are intentionally trying to look white. It doesn’t have to be political at all, it can simply mean that an individual is trying a new bolder look. However, to some the trend of Asians turning blonde still play into aesthetical sensibilities and cultural traditions that depicts feminine white privilege.

For whatever the purpose for turning blonde, everyone has the right to do what they want with their body. Each individual should be encouraged to express themselves in a way that makes them feel excited and authentic. At the same time, the fashion industry should also play a responsible role in the ‘self-expression’ consumption context especially when racialization encourages distinct modes of perception through appearance. Aesthetic preference should not be decided in a vacuum. It would be ignorant to say that the prevalence of blonde western models and celebrities in media have no impact in the decision making of the Asian communities because it does but at the same time, preference is never formed with only a single factor. Fashionably speaking, in a political racialized world, hair is never just about hair, just like a blonde is never just a color. But in a de-racialized world, an Asian born with black hair – going through the grueling process to dye it light and accepting the time and expenses that comes along maintaining a blonde hair could signify an opportunity to transcend racial categories and live in a society where everyone can become perpetual foreigners, without being bound by their roots.

Perhaps this is the reason why I’ve been blonde for two years and I enjoy it. I fancy the fact that there is a discipline and nurture associated in doing so, even if it comes across as superficial in form at best. Hard work is hard work and not everyone can deal with the endeavour that comes with maintaining a blonde hair. I always wanted to try becoming blonde since I’ve already tried doing brunette and red-head in the past. Although I was always too timid to go blonde early on because it seemed too bold in the Philippine landscape. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for all the stares and attention, but I always knew I would do it at one point in my life. My determination to go blonde started when I disclosed to Ollie, my now husband, the desire I have to go blonde someday - at that time, we were only dating. As I disclose to him my plans, he was relentlessly verbalizing his support for me to do it and he even joked to me “I’ll marry you if you turn blonde” which of course I took with a grain of salt. Right then and there, I knew Ollie saw my ambition to go beyond my roots.

Read More: Style And Self-Identity: An Instrument That Builds Symbolic Capital and Misguided Fashion: The Misconception In Clothing.

The Next Move: Love Migration And Fashion Career Relocation

ILLUSTRATIONS BY MAI MANALOTO TAYNTON

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I want to start this discourse with a candid speech. If you think you are leaving behind everything in your life for the person you love, do not make the impending move. It is irrefutable that you have a lot happening for yourself wherever you may be, not to mention all the clothing attire you have collected specifically blended to suit the tropical weather and the fashion network you have built over the years, but if your relationship can’t be your everything or love isn’t enough for you to make the move then perhaps it is best to stay where your world revolves at. Otherwise you will end up resenting your partner and isolating yourself in misery. Have you ever fallen for someone from another culture and the relationship turns into a serious one? When I first met my husband early last year, the attraction between us was electric. I will admit that it had something to do with the fact that he was British/English. Everything he exudes were unique to me and I am fascinated to learn all about what his life had been like. Fast forward to today, we are happily married and I still find him the most fascinating person. He is the only person I could see myself sharing this life with and growing old with. Along the way, I have learned new things about myself and that loving someone from another country brings with it a whole new dynamic into a relationship.

On a different note, there has always been a romantic notion when it comes to a career in the fashion industry especially with the growing interest, buzz and support for young designers. Having a job in the fashion industry may appear to some as exciting and a sexy career. In the realms of fashion, certain skills must be possessed in addition to artistic flair in order to get yourself started. Apart from the technical skills and training you acquire from fashion schools, learning how to network like a pro to get entry-level fashion jobs is a must. You can say that the industry has very high standards, making the interest in it even greater. The general public view when it comes to having a career in the fashion industry is far from the mundane and humdrum corporate routine work. There are also individuals who are not employed in the fashion industry but takes part in fashion. These are fashionistas, someone who has an eye for fashion, eager to understand what fashion is about, aware of local and international trends, and takes part in the fashion scene in their own town, city or country. As a fashion designer my world revolves around the fashion industry and like-minded individuals. However, it is important to note that I am also a wife. And that a career is only an occupation which does not define my entire existence. There are other aspects in life that are much more rewarding and thrilling than a career such as relationships. 

The chasm between two individuals brought up in different cultures can create endless attraction. As a couple from two different countries, you will soon realize that one of the biggest hindrance to staying together is the fact that both of you will eventually succumb to doing long distance relationship at one point. However stressful the experience maybe, you have to push on regardless and remember that LDR means you really have to mentally commit to it. Doing LDR and keeping your promises along the way is perhaps one of the best ordeal a couple can do to prove that they are both genuinely committed to each other regardless of the time and distance. LDR is tough but the thing about distance is that it has a way of revealing what is truly important. And for me, it’s not my career or fashion, but being next to my husband. Moving across country or city to be with your one true love is a grand romantic gesture that can present opportunities and it is more common than people think. Surveys present that women are rather more likely to do the moving than men. Leaving behind familiarity and moving can be a daunting experience for anyone. It will require at least one of you to totally uproot and start over. Sartorially speaking, this also entails adjusting your wardrobe to suit the weather of where you are moving to. For my case, I will be moving to my husbands’ hometown in England. Most of my wardrobe consist of clothing complementary to the Philippine weather which are mainly, summer and rainy seasons. It would be interesting to start layering my style and putting ensembles for four seasons which are spring, summer, autumn and winter. 

Ultimately, love migration and fashion career relocation is about where your values lie. Having given up my promising fashion position in a well renowned online fashion brand to follow my husband to England is one of the most liberating and exciting things I have done in my life. I used to think that my fashion designer career in the Philippines was my everything. Since my childhood, I’ve had dreams of becoming a fashion designer and being part of the fashion world. Fortunately, I did get my designer break when I was still studying my undergrad course, Bachelor of Science in Clothing Technology, in Philippine’s most prestigious university, University of the Philippines – Diliman. It wasn’t all luck landing that job, if not, it was barely any luck at all. I wanted it bad enough and worked hard to land my foot down in the fashion industry. In my younger, unmarried years, I would think that love isn’t enough of a reason to move anywhere. The only thing that would make me move is my fashion career. But I guess during those times when my convictions toward my career was strong, it was only because I haven’t met the love of my life yet. Love changes you and there isn’t any shame wanting to move for love or having a relationship determine where you are. Surrendering to a healthy loving relationship is one of the best things I have ever made in my life. 

If you are someone like me who is passionate about a career in the fashion industry, a healthy loving relationship will never threaten your ambitions. Instead, it supports you and brings you even closer to accomplishing them. Now I am looking forward to embark on the UK fashion scene, quintessentially the epitome of fashion creativity. I left my fashion designer job in the Philippines because my husband and I are in the process of settling together in the UK for an indefinite period. It was hard having to leave my dream job but what made it really difficult was because it was my first job and first time to resign. My decision to resign earlier than my impending move to the UK pushed me into running my own fashion business full time. In the process of building my own brand, I learned new skills such as web design, website development, online marketing, graphic designing and accounting. Leaving my then dream job and moving for love all turned out much better than what I expected. I am still pursuing my fashion career and growing in the process but now things are more at peace in my life, putting my marriage above anything else. I am so pleased with my marriage that there is no hesitation in my mind and heart that there is nothing in this world that means everything to me but my husband. 

The Sartorial Wife: Dress To Unveil Or Not

Quick & Easy Illustrations by Mai Manaloto Taynton
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How should a woman look after she gets hitched? A sensitive discourse on an old-age institution, marriage. A discourse on marriage entails discussion about sex, politics, compromise, communication and most importantly fashion. Fashion can be the tool you need to keep the spark in your marriage ablaze. As I mentioned in my previous blog, a reason why fashion’s essential is because it has the capacity to render clothing as a potent symbol for perpetual identity transformation. The constant change in design aesthetics such as the colors, silhouettes and ornamentations build curiosity further fueling our curious nature through the simple process of concealment. In a marriage sense couples can use clothing as a way to keep each other interested and desirable. Everyone from celebrities to an old aunt would admit that marriage is hard. No matter how good a relationship is, a happy and successful marriage requires daily effort. Every couple has their way of manifesting their effort into a relationship. Mine for example, effort is as simple as grooming ourselves and working out regularly. Knowing that he respects my proclivity with aesthetic by maintaining his good look and figure shows me that he cares about me and himself. I do enjoy dressing nice to give my husband more reasons to tell me how good I look. On a less superficial note, what’s important is that we both enjoy doing the work in the relationship.

A good husband never tells his wife what to wear and does not impose his possession of her, instead he sees her as a person he shares the highs and lows with. Someone who completes him and guides him when he is lost. A good husband sees her as his best friend and does not act like a third parent. He might get jealous when his wife wears revealing clothes only because he fears that other men might desire her lustfully the way he does. Due to this he may suggest a more modest way of dressing but he should never be oppressive and make his wife wear something she isn’t comfortable with. No matter what a wife wears, a good husband will respect her sartorial taste. There is no right or wrong way of dressing in a western perspective where fashion is solely based on freedom of expression. This is not the case for all since several countries are still conservative such as the Middle East where there is a proper way of dressing which is modest and covered-up. In a conservative nation, the acceptable manner of dress stems from their culture, adherence to the rules and acceptance from their family and community. Wives are not allowed to dress provocatively in public to save her from giving the wrong impression. But once she is within the vicinity of their home, she is free to wear revealing ensembles as much as she pleases.

As a wife, never underestimate the power of lingerie as it is an integral part of any happy relationship. There is no shame in wanting to look enticing for your man especially since lingerie is made to be shared between a man and wife. Lingerie should not only be exclusively worn for special occasion but rather part of your daily attire so that you feel sexy and beautiful all the time. It’s a good idea to go lingerie shopping with your man and let him decide what he wants on you. To some feminist this may seem old-fashion and an anti-feminist act, but if you are confident enough with your relationship it will not even be about feminism. It is simply an act of passionate fun with your husband and caring about what he likes and letting him take control but not in a crude savage way of yesteryears. As a wife you should dress well in whatever way you feel comfortable with but of course there are limits to how far it is appropriate, at the same time those limits are subjective. It is important to look put together for yourself most importantly. As crude as this may sound, men do view women as their greatest accomplishment and there really isn’t anything wrong if men think like that as long as they treat their lady as precious as they would do a trophy.

The Price Of Fashion: A Dream Worth The Splurge

Quick & Easy Illustrations by Mai Manaloto Taynton
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This might sound contemptuous but fashion is rarely, if not never for the poor and the fashion industry makes this painfully clear. Sartorial garb lover doesn't seem to mind since fashion could also foster drive, motivation, and creativity which at the end of the day are worth it. It’s because fashion is a product of capitalism making these two concepts inextricably connected. In the eyes of a capitalistic society, fashion is perfect. This holds truth in the glossy magazines, Instagram posts and films such as The Devil Wears Prada which suggest a world of endless glamour. Many are blind-sided by the bright lights of a runway without having any idea of the real work involved before a show is unrolled. During the Tudor period there were sumptuary laws which limited the type of clothing and material poor people get to purchase to maintain the social structure. The Tudor class system may no longer exist in the 21^st century however the cost of fashion still centers on capital exclusivity. With this medieval historical context in mind, individuals may no longer be dictated by law with what they can wear but their wallet would. And when we speak of fashion, it is not only about the clothes we wear but also a discourse on education, career, and lifestyle choices. Read more on Clothing Hedonism: Glamourizing Fashion In Conventional Discourses.

In any field we enter, education is important especially today where competition is abundant. Having an idea or creative vision is simply not enough to get a foot down in the fashion industry. Knowing the specific tools as well as being aware of the detailed practices needed to execute an idea is amongst the fundamental grounds of what fashion schools can offer. Why would a profit-based organization hire you if you don’t have the talent and skills required to get things done? Ultimately, you are paid to know and execute, not to learn. Fashion school are witnessing a dramatic rise in enrolment due to the public’s increasing awareness of aesthetic which we see in the media. Education enables individuals to hone their talent and skill but if it doesn’t come naturally, perhaps a different field will best suit you – this kind of ‘natural selection’ idea just adds to the whole exclusivity concept. Ultimately the bread and butter of the industry is raw talent therefore innate gift is a must. Read more on A Shrewd Fashion Tactician: The Long-Term Ball Game For A Fashion Designer.

Fashion institutions are very expensive because it offers a resume boost. Not to mention all the materials and tools you will need to jumpstart your fashion career as well as the clothes and beauty products you will need to look presentable. All these add up but if you are serious about pursuing a fashion career then just think of them as investments. There is a myriad of opportunities in the fashion industry as long as you are willing to crawl to the top of the totem pole and make yourself noticeable in a sea of budding talent and skill. Just like any other profession, fashion entails diligence and effort but the fast paced world is an entirely different kind of beast that most can’t dream of taming. It is an industry reserved only for the most dedicated and creative in the world, leaving no space for mediocrity. Fashion design encompasses a lot of skills related to the industry with every element playing a highly choreographed system of chain reaction producing a collection season after season. Read more on Fashion Code: The Business Card And Emancipation Of Women.

Once you are in the realm of fashion, living it is part of the ordeal therefore it includes dressing appropriately. In the creative field it is understandable that the dress code is more relaxed but as a professional, be sure to look like you rolled out of bed and decided to go to work. However, your appearance can cost you money. Good quality and trendy apparel do come with a hefty price tag so if you do not want to splurge you have to think outside the box. Maybe invest in timeless staple pieces you can easily mix and match. Just know that in this industry dressing to impress comes with it. And in this digital-social-media day and age it is not enough be dressed well, you also have to be in a trendy spot with a scenic view, otherwise what’s the point of dressing impeccably if you will just go to a wet market. Instead of stressing about looking your best, have fun with it and see it as an opportunity to express who you are and who you want to become – use it to motivate you to work harder. At the end of the day if it made you happy, do not regret it. If fashion and the lifestyle it exudes gives you that drive to persevere and become successful, then go for it. Read more on Style And Self-Identity: An Instrument That Builds Symbolic Capital.

Now we arrive at the moment of truth, is fashion worth it? If you have a sewing machine, have a hard look at it. Is it pilling up dust inside a drawer or does it occupy the prime reality of your bedroom? I’m stressing the point that if you are serious about this you must eat, breath, live and dream fashion despite all the financial constraints. Money shouldn’t be a hindrance in your fashion dreams. Sure, it is expensive but if you really want it you have to be resourceful. There are always fashion school grants and scholarships. You can always style to stretch your wardrobe or better yet make your clothes. And a career in fashion may entail free travels and parties at the hippest side of town, and opportunities getting first dibs with the latest collection and license to borrow clothes to wear for events. I’ll end this blog post with a quote from Coco Chanel “The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive”. Read more on Luxury Fashion: The Deluxe Standards.

The Newly Engaged Sartorialist: Engagement Rings, Fashion And Relations

Quick & Easy Illustrations by Mai Manaloto
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“Yes, I will be Mary Ann Taynton” I told my fiancé when he got down on one knee and popped the question. I could never have prepared myself with the joy that comes with being engaged to the one person who ticked all my boxes. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was a single gal mingling and dating around, daydreaming for when I finally find the one. And here I am today, an engaged woman, smitten by my fiancé and can’t stop staring at my engagement ring. This discourse involves a brief history of engagement rings or also called the betrothal rings, the proper ensemble for various engagement celebrations and bits of my experiences as a newly engaged lady. The history and tradition behind engagement rings is a fascinating topic dating back to ancient times. It all started during the Egyptian period when couples who were newly wedded exchanged rings made of intertwined reeds forming a round shape – circular figures symbolized eternity. The ring was placed on the left hand ring finger as it was believed to have a vein that ran straight to the heart or better known as the Vena Amoris which is Latin for “Vein of Love”.

Betrothal rings were still made out of hemp, leather, bone or ivory during the Greek period. It was during the Roman period when gradual shift to the use of metal became predominant and iron was the metal of choice back then. Gold and silver rings were usually reserved for a rare occasion which symbolized that a man trusted his wife with his valuable property. Engagement rings didn’t exactly symbolized love back then but rather a form of ownership.  Grooms would give the bride a ring to signify her binding legal agreement to his possession of her. Diamonds on engagement rings didn’t exist until the 15^th century when the Archduke of Austria, Maximilian, proposed to Mary of Burgundy with a ring embedded with thin pieces of diamonds forming the first letter of her name. It was also during the middle ages that posei rings begun to flourish, these were ring bands with engraved romantic poetries or short inscriptions.

The influx of diamond engagement rings didn’t start until the 19^th century. A British company called Debeers discovered a diamond mine in South Africa which massively changed the jewellery trade. At that time, there was more supply of diamonds than the demand for it. They got in touch with an ad agency to market diamond engagement rings to the mass and their marketing strategy was to persuade men that only diamonds were synonymous with the ideals of love and romance. Engagement rings became the measure of a man’s love and even up to this day, a man’s personal and professional success is assumed to be proportional to the size and quality of diamond he purchases. One of Debeer’s most famous slogan was “diamonds are forever” which encouraged men to spend a large amount of their salary on the rock. But the fuss over diamond engagement rings is nothing more than a mere ad campaign. Being engaged means so much more than just having a ring on a woman’s finger. It’s a life changing new level of commitment to each other.

I’ve always preferred an intimate proposal – it was important that it was only about us two and the love and understanding we have for each other. There wasn’t anything unusual the night Ollie, my fiancé, popped the question which caught me off-guard and really surprised me. I came home from work with a chocolate cake and he told me he would cook us a nice, healthy dinner accompanied with some vino which wasn’t unusual at all since we always make it a point to have a nice dinner presentation from time to time. Afterwards we walked up to the sky deck of the tower where we live and after treasuring the landscape view he got down on one knee and started his speech while handing a jewellery box containing a sparkly diamond ring. He ended his speech with “will you be Mary Ann Taynton?” and most certainly I said yes. Quite frankly, his words started to fade a little once he opened the box and I could see the sparkling ring. I couldn’t take my eyes of it, it’s so beautiful.

We posted our engagement on social media not only to inform our friends (we’ve informed our family prior to the post) but also because we were so proud of each other and the choice we’ve made. When Ollie and I started dating for a bit, we’ve already had a discussion where we see our relationship going. We both knew that we wanted to get married and be together in fidelity for the rest of our lives. Perhaps this is our honeymoon stage as an engaged couple but I feel like a whole new woman. My make-up and wardrobe are more than ever amplified, my nails are always painted, and I’m more polite and positive with my general demeanour. Now that I am an engaged lady, it’s only appropriate to always look nice and this goes to all engaged ladies out there. Apart from all the planning and excitement that comes along with being engaged, you should never forget to dress well for all the special occasions you’ll be taking part in from now on. 

Prior to the wedding day, there’s the engagement party. This is the time to dress up in a special ensemble so try not to wear white just yet, save all that for other upcoming celebrations and of course the wedding day. The bridal shower is usually a daytime affair; it is recommendable to wear light or pastel colours. Be sure to wear something festive and comfortable because a lot of socializing will be occurring – a shift dress style paired with blocked heels is a nice example to wear. It’s time to bust out that sexy fun party dress for the bachelorette party. This is the perfect occasion to wear something that shows-off a little bit of skin but keep in mind that you are already off the market so don’t look too sexy, keep it classy. A white short mini dress is a nice candidate for this night out with your gal pals. On a more serious function, signing a marriage certificate at a city hall isn’t exactly the most glamorous of all occasion but it will be nice to commemorate the moment by dressing appropriately. A sleek midi length dress paired with pointy flats is the way to go. As we draw closer to the wedding day, comes the rehearsal dinner so for this gathering it is best to wear something you can move around with. Brides commonly wear a white dress during rehearsal dinner and it’s best to wear heels that will resemble to the ones you will wear on your wedding day, this way you can practice and know what you are dealing with when you walk down the aisle.

There you have it, the perfect OOTD for all your engagement affairs apart from the wedding day itself. Being engaged is a wonderful, exciting and fun-filled life experience. Personally, Ollie and I are just cherishing all the occasions we get to call each other “fiancé”. An engagement is a crowning moment of finding your soul mate as well as getting butterflies whenever you tease each other as “fiancé” while doing the dishes and going to bed. There is nothing wrong with being in that honey moon phase in a relationship and wearing your ring proudly furthermore being excited with all the plans. Enjoy this stage in your engagement like the thrill of when you just started to date. An engagement is more than putting a ring on it and the four C’s (cut, carat, colour, and clarity) but ultimately it is a celebration of a lifelong commitment, fidelity, loyalty and the journey of two people together. Continue reading about Relationship Bliss and Sartorial Compromise.