The Newly Engaged Sartorialist: Engagement Rings, Fashion And Relations

Quick & Easy Illustrations by Mai Manaloto
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“Yes, I will be Mary Ann Taynton” I told my fiancé when he got down on one knee and popped the question. I could never have prepared myself with the joy that comes with being engaged to the one person who ticked all my boxes. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was a single gal mingling and dating around, daydreaming for when I finally find the one. And here I am today, an engaged woman, smitten by my fiancé and can’t stop staring at my engagement ring. This discourse involves a brief history of engagement rings or also called the betrothal rings, the proper ensemble for various engagement celebrations and bits of my experiences as a newly engaged lady. The history and tradition behind engagement rings is a fascinating topic dating back to ancient times. It all started during the Egyptian period when couples who were newly wedded exchanged rings made of intertwined reeds forming a round shape – circular figures symbolized eternity. The ring was placed on the left hand ring finger as it was believed to have a vein that ran straight to the heart or better known as the Vena Amoris which is Latin for “Vein of Love”.

Betrothal rings were still made out of hemp, leather, bone or ivory during the Greek period. It was during the Roman period when gradual shift to the use of metal became predominant and iron was the metal of choice back then. Gold and silver rings were usually reserved for a rare occasion which symbolized that a man trusted his wife with his valuable property. Engagement rings didn’t exactly symbolized love back then but rather a form of ownership.  Grooms would give the bride a ring to signify her binding legal agreement to his possession of her. Diamonds on engagement rings didn’t exist until the 15^th century when the Archduke of Austria, Maximilian, proposed to Mary of Burgundy with a ring embedded with thin pieces of diamonds forming the first letter of her name. It was also during the middle ages that posei rings begun to flourish, these were ring bands with engraved romantic poetries or short inscriptions.

The influx of diamond engagement rings didn’t start until the 19^th century. A British company called Debeers discovered a diamond mine in South Africa which massively changed the jewellery trade. At that time, there was more supply of diamonds than the demand for it. They got in touch with an ad agency to market diamond engagement rings to the mass and their marketing strategy was to persuade men that only diamonds were synonymous with the ideals of love and romance. Engagement rings became the measure of a man’s love and even up to this day, a man’s personal and professional success is assumed to be proportional to the size and quality of diamond he purchases. One of Debeer’s most famous slogan was “diamonds are forever” which encouraged men to spend a large amount of their salary on the rock. But the fuss over diamond engagement rings is nothing more than a mere ad campaign. Being engaged means so much more than just having a ring on a woman’s finger. It’s a life changing new level of commitment to each other.

I’ve always preferred an intimate proposal – it was important that it was only about us two and the love and understanding we have for each other. There wasn’t anything unusual the night Ollie, my fiancé, popped the question which caught me off-guard and really surprised me. I came home from work with a chocolate cake and he told me he would cook us a nice, healthy dinner accompanied with some vino which wasn’t unusual at all since we always make it a point to have a nice dinner presentation from time to time. Afterwards we walked up to the sky deck of the tower where we live and after treasuring the landscape view he got down on one knee and started his speech while handing a jewellery box containing a sparkly diamond ring. He ended his speech with “will you be Mary Ann Taynton?” and most certainly I said yes. Quite frankly, his words started to fade a little once he opened the box and I could see the sparkling ring. I couldn’t take my eyes of it, it’s so beautiful.

We posted our engagement on social media not only to inform our friends (we’ve informed our family prior to the post) but also because we were so proud of each other and the choice we’ve made. When Ollie and I started dating for a bit, we’ve already had a discussion where we see our relationship going. We both knew that we wanted to get married and be together in fidelity for the rest of our lives. Perhaps this is our honeymoon stage as an engaged couple but I feel like a whole new woman. My make-up and wardrobe are more than ever amplified, my nails are always painted, and I’m more polite and positive with my general demeanour. Now that I am an engaged lady, it’s only appropriate to always look nice and this goes to all engaged ladies out there. Apart from all the planning and excitement that comes along with being engaged, you should never forget to dress well for all the special occasions you’ll be taking part in from now on. 

Prior to the wedding day, there’s the engagement party. This is the time to dress up in a special ensemble so try not to wear white just yet, save all that for other upcoming celebrations and of course the wedding day. The bridal shower is usually a daytime affair; it is recommendable to wear light or pastel colours. Be sure to wear something festive and comfortable because a lot of socializing will be occurring – a shift dress style paired with blocked heels is a nice example to wear. It’s time to bust out that sexy fun party dress for the bachelorette party. This is the perfect occasion to wear something that shows-off a little bit of skin but keep in mind that you are already off the market so don’t look too sexy, keep it classy. A white short mini dress is a nice candidate for this night out with your gal pals. On a more serious function, signing a marriage certificate at a city hall isn’t exactly the most glamorous of all occasion but it will be nice to commemorate the moment by dressing appropriately. A sleek midi length dress paired with pointy flats is the way to go. As we draw closer to the wedding day, comes the rehearsal dinner so for this gathering it is best to wear something you can move around with. Brides commonly wear a white dress during rehearsal dinner and it’s best to wear heels that will resemble to the ones you will wear on your wedding day, this way you can practice and know what you are dealing with when you walk down the aisle.

There you have it, the perfect OOTD for all your engagement affairs apart from the wedding day itself. Being engaged is a wonderful, exciting and fun-filled life experience. Personally, Ollie and I are just cherishing all the occasions we get to call each other “fiancé”. An engagement is a crowning moment of finding your soul mate as well as getting butterflies whenever you tease each other as “fiancé” while doing the dishes and going to bed. There is nothing wrong with being in that honey moon phase in a relationship and wearing your ring proudly furthermore being excited with all the plans. Enjoy this stage in your engagement like the thrill of when you just started to date. An engagement is more than putting a ring on it and the four C’s (cut, carat, colour, and clarity) but ultimately it is a celebration of a lifelong commitment, fidelity, loyalty and the journey of two people together. Continue reading about Relationship Bliss and Sartorial Compromise.

Dating And Fashion Reconciliation: Surviving Sartorial Blocks And Fashion Ruts

Quick & Easy Illustrations by Mai Manaloto
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Here’s to the latest fashion trend innovation called athleisure, a trend in which work-out and athletic themed apparel is worn in various environments apart from the gym and similar locations. And cheers to that special person in my life who made me live vividly again. This discourse revolves around surviving sartorial blocks and regaining that enthusiasm for life by falling in love again. Love comes in various  forms for all of us, it could be the love for traveling, love for sports or perhaps it’s a platonic type of love. For whatever the case, what’s important is keeping that love burning especially under the shadow of cynicism. In this case, love for me came from choosing to stay in fashion as well as crossing paths with a bloke that ticked all my boxes, and who happened to have a massive heart.  For some time, I’ve been in a fashion rut. I haven’t been inspired with the pieces of clothing I've put together which is a signal that things aren’t that good. Fashion has that power to make us feel something. It can act as an outlet for hope and inspiration for projecting our ideas of who we are and who we want to become. So when I was facing a sartorial block, a condition of being unable to style clothing or proceed with fashion, I knew something was up with me.

 Sartorially speaking, I’ve lost my mojo and being in that jaded situation could be frustrating because it puts you in a void condition. I had to do an introspective confrontation to determine what was really bothering me since there was tension within myself and as a result apathy begun to ensue for my outward appearance. My personal and professional life were predisposition to change and I had a hard time grasping it all. On the bright side, I knew one thing hadn't changed which was my love for beautiful things such as the exquisite lace on my lingerie, the impeccably embroidered floral on my black velvet boots, and that spray bottle that holds captive a potent sweet evocative scent of lavender infused with the more feminine rose aroma that transports me across thousands of miles. These things still made me happy and served as my source of escape despite the fact that I was ready to give-up on the idea of ever finding a suitable romantic partner. I was a romance cynic at best, relentlessly pounding in my head “who needs a boyfriend when you have a career” – as if those two aspirations couldn’t co-exist together.

We’ve all had that traumatizing moment that shattered us. Moments for which we thought broke us, but were we really broken? Or perhaps we were broken open instead. Sartorial slip-ups are just like heart breaks, they have a way of unmasking and exposing our deepest weaknesses and vulnerabilities. I remember being all dressed up in a sophisticated black ensemble for work and all of a sudden, my faux leather sandals started falling apart. It was so embarrassing and such a struggle since I had so much to do that day and on top of all chaos, I was already an hour late. I had to snap out of that self-pity mode and get going. My options at that time were either  get the sandals fixed or get a new pair, the closest stop was a 7/11 store and they had flip-flops but no freaking way I’m wearing flip-flops with the ensemble I have on, so instead I got some adhesive and did some D-I-Y. And there it was, a sartorial conundrum solved. If only love affairs could be solved with an adhesive found in a convenience store. Heart breaks could leave us retreating from any form of genuine intimacy. There is nothing wrong with retreating, it is perfectly healthy but we can’t keep closing our doors. As a matter of fact, real healing begins the moment we start trusting again. A blow that occurred in a relationship can only be healed in a new relationship. Just like how a sartorial slip-up could only be repaired in a fashion come back. Had a passe style in college? Become the work force fashionista.

 It’s true that we can heal on our own, however that would only go so far. At one point or another, we will need the support, perspective and reflection that only a loving relationship can give us. When I met my current romantic partner, I saw him and in the deepest reach of my being, I knew that I would feel safe with him because he would do anything to keep things like that between us. I was convinced that he would respect and love me, and  I would do the same for him. There was something about his aura that told me everything I needed to know at that time. I was certain that I could heal with him and we could help each other out. So, with a scared but genuinely serene smile on my face I took a leap of fate and agreed to become his girlfriend. I felt his support and love very deeply. That love continues to burn brightly in the twilight of my still-slightly-cynical heart. The truth is, no matter how much self-love I have for myself, experiencing that kind of pure love from another soul heals me so profoundly. Loving again helped me emerge out of this fashion rut and return to my former self-acclaimed splendor. It makes me feel excited about the prospect of dressing up and immersing myself in the realms of fashion again. I've figured not to take myself too seriously, besides it's fashion we're talking about, which is meant to be fun. It's not that deep and we're not exactly saving lives. But then again, fashion is still a tool for self-expression, individuation and a vehicle to perpetual identity transformation (read more discourse on Style And Self-Identity: An Instrument That Builds Symbolic Capital).

The point is, when facing a sartorial block or fashion rut, start trying out new things. Make an attempt to add your personal spin to a current trend or if you are the type that always wear jeans why not toss on a skirt every now and then. Keep tweaking your clothing attire until you find a style that you love and same goes with dating, keep your options open until you met the right person who satisfies all necessary criteria you have for a life partner. It's essential to figure yourself out, address what's going on inside and reconnect with yourself before you start connecting with a new person. And then start bringing that out in you selection of dress and overall ensemble. Start valuing the new life experiences and maturity you have gained as well, rather than yearning for youth and naivete. Having experienced love, loss and slip-ups  only enriches us and enables us to fully determine our relational and sartorial needs and true desires. So there it is, I've survived my sartorial block and came out  on the other side. The way we portray ourselves with fashion visually says a lot on how we feel about ourselves. I fell in love with fashion again the moment I fell in love with the person I had become, and along the way I found myself falling in love with a man who surpassed my dreams for a partner. 

Fashion Code: The Business Card And Emancipation Of Women

Quick & Easy Illustrations by Mai Manaloto

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I remember that moment that made me so vividly, it was about a year and nine months ago. I was going on an interview for a lifestyle website brand, it was nerve racking and exciting altogether and I remember wearing an all black ensemble that showed–off my figure and yet still conservative. I spent quite some time fixing myself; putting some make-up, doing my hair, grooming and styling. It was for a fashion design role and clearly being fashionable was simply implied. Calling to mind that moment I went on that job interview got me pondering about Leen Demeester’s assertion on how appearance is a woman’s business card and fashion is the code. In matters of career advancement, is a woman’s appearance as well as her place in society dependent on the clothes she wear? Clothing is defined as anything attached or altered on the body (read more on Misguided Fashion: The Misconception In Clothing). Can attractiveness even substitute or equate to a bachelor’s degree? These are few interesting grounds that will be discussed in this discourse.

Fashion history for more than 2,000 years only proves how women place a lot of importance towards their outside appearance. A good example to examine would be the corsets. Corsets are great example on how women have attached great importance towards their looks. It was around the 16th and 17th Century, during the Elizabethan and Spanish fashion period, that corsets became a prominent fashion attire for the elite women of Europe. Comfort was set aside for the sake of aesthetic – the more slender the bodice, the more beautiful a woman was perceived.Women’s long attachment to physical appearance marks the emancipation of women in society. It is a controversial discourse because not all women sits well with the idea of objectification and male gaze. Nonetheless, men and women play a complementary role in the system of fashion as men have a tendency to view women as objects of desire, while women in turn, have a tendency to perceive themselves as objects of desire. In my opinion, women should not be enraged with the concept of objectification. It is something that both sexes must celebrate because it glorifies the compatibility of the male and female gender roles (read more on Clothing Drive: Fashion Fueled By Desire).

It is no secret that appearance can influence a woman’s advancement in terms of career. This has been one of the business of fashion – turning beauty and adornment into a necessity for success. A German study confirms that wages, promotions and perks at work are somewhat related to a woman’s attractiveness. A theory suggest that this is the case in a business level because attractive individuals leave more lasting impression. Another study suggest that women wearing more make-up is seen as more competent. Make-up is found to increase people’s perception of women’s likability and trustworthiness. The bottom line is attractiveness could act as a tool to open a door. But there is another side to being attractive. In a work place, being too attractive can work against women. Some co-workers might have assumptions as to how an attractive female got the job, which means that a doubted attractive woman have to actually work harder to prove herself. More so, when someone beautiful have proven herself, it can be harder to accept because an attractive and smart colleague can definitely appear as a threat. The politics of beauty in a work place is that, if a woman is too attractive it doesn’t work for her favor because she’s not taken seriously by both men and women. On the other hand, a non-extremely attractive woman do get an edge. Interestingly enough, being attractive is pursued and discriminated at the same time.

The reality is that looks are a hidden persuader. It is understandable that many are reluctant to admit that a woman’s appearance influences her advancement because it is superficial, shallow and bias at best. The truth is, no one will admit that something so trivial will even impact their decision-making process even though it really does.  Appearance becomes a powerful factor in career advancement. However, it’s not all about physical beauty – it’s something to be attractive, but it’s not all there is. Looks will fade, fashion goes out of style and vitality begins to exhaust itself. This is the reality for all, so it’s still best to not bank on your looks and start honing some skill sets. Fashion and career endeavor is about presenting yourself strategically. A strategically presented woman, someone who has intelligently immersed herself in the realm of fashion, has an immense advantage over their simply average or disheveled colleagues. It takes more than just looks, it’s about the package deal – dressing appropriately, having an amazing attitude and a strong work ethic. It’s worth remembering that success is a result of talent, drive and skill set but it wouldn’t hurt for women to have their best stilettos forward and crimson lipstick on as they conquer the world.

Source: Leen Demeester (2013). Fashion Icons: Fashion Trends Throughout The Centuries. Lannoo Publisher.

Asian Fashion Fever: The Emerging New World For The Fashion Industry

Quick & Easy Illustrations by Mai Manaloto

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The current direction of fashion tail winds is blowing in the direction of Asia. It is predicted that the consumers of luxury fashion from the West will utterly deflate below 50 percent in the coming years. There will be fewer fashion forward consumers in the West demanding novel clothing designs compared to Asia. This transition ultimately marks the beginning of a new world for the fashion industry, wherein consumers from emerging markets in Asia, the Middle East, South America and Africa will dominate. Designers from outside the fashion capitals such as London, Paris, Milan and New York, will continue to inject fresh perspectives in clothing designs. However, this coming together between emerging markets and more developed fashion capitals will add increasing diversification to the fashion scene and global fashion trade. This can only bode well for business.

Clearly fashion is becoming an international language amongst the young and the technologically savvy, thereby making it a universal commodity.  But what is the lure of the fashion industry apart from the lifestyle and aesthetic it promotes? In terms of business, the fact that it is a trillion dollar business makes it very attractive. Fashion trade which includes retailing, textile and apparel manufacturing is big business, providing employment to thousands of people all over the world. Another thing worth noting is that a majority of the textile and apparel manufacturing sector is already found in Asia. The Asian fashion market in particular is rapidly growing at a rate faster than ever seen before. It’s growth rate is progressing faster than traditional fashion markets in France, Italy, UK and USA. It is already expected that the Asian fashion market will rule over the North American and European markets in the near future.

It is no secret that not too long ago, the Asian fashion market lagged behind the North American and European markets. But we can see significant changes taking place. Changing consumer tastes can be regarded as the main reason. Women’s taste in fashion is simply changing. After years of buying only status brands, more women are now into embracing a unique personal style. Fashion forward Asian women want to have distinct looks instead of turning to the same old luxury brands. Consumers are hungry for interesting designs, quality materials, and sensitive to issues such as corporate social responsibility. Many people are now demanding ethical fashion goods and services. In East Asia, Japan has been a major hub for lovers of fashion. On average, the Japanese spend 7 percent or more of their income on fashion goods. Japan popularized the idea of street fashion such as the Harajuku trend. On the other hand, the traditional fashion market of Hong Kong prides itself with a novel form of the fashion industry. It is mainly influenced by the Chinese fashion market. It has a well developed fashion manufacturing and retail industry, and frequently organizes internationally acclaimed fashion shows.

South Korea’s innovative take on the fashion retail landscape is also worth noting. Koreans have popularized the K-pop fashion phenomenon. This is a remarkable adaptation of a more nuanced luxury lifestyle in Seoul. Coming to the Philippines however, fashion styles have to be head turning to gain appraisal. Western dressing is still predominant and the Filipino market is more than ever open to global brands. Local retailers face challenges competing with international brands. But a solution to this apparent disconnect between local retailers and the deluxe Filipino fashion market is the simple need to revamp the brand image to one with a more Western appeal. In the Islamic state of Malaysia, modest-wear is taking the spotlight. Muslim consumers have sought clothing that are not only in tune with their religious beliefs, but also stylish within the context of the 21st century. Muslim consumers made up an estimated 11 percent of the global demand for fashion apparel. While Indonesia is the largest Muslim-majority nation in the world, its spending on Islamic fashion is dwarfed by wealthier markets in Turkey and the United Arab Emirates. This is the case despite the fact that 60 percent of the world’s Muslims live in the Asia-Pacific region alone. 

Focusing on India, here the sportswear market is seen to be growing rapidly. It witnessed a 22 percent increase from 2015 to 2016 alone and is expected to continue on its upward trajectory in the coming years. There are many factors that account for this increase in fashion consumption in the Indian Subcontinent. These include rising incomes and a new awareness of lifestyle choices which have allowed people to focus on health and wellness. These social, cultural and market shifts in the years to come is gearing India up for its biggest sporting boom to date, making the country’s sportswear sector increasingly attractive to local and international brands. The biggest driver for sportswear purchases is the fact that India is a very young country. In fact, it is set to become the world’s youngest country with 64 percent of its population in the working age group by the year 2020.

Asia’s emerging fashion market is a result of population growth, particularly its emerging fashion youth demographic. About 58 percent of global millennials reside in Asia who are finally reaching the median age of 23 and demanding more stylish apparel. The age of the flaming youth will always influence the fashion industry. Fashion world prominence will always involve designers turning to the youth culture trend. Especially due to the internet’s democratizing effect, the youth now have the tools to access information, and create and promote their own fashion culture.

Fashion X-tasy And Therapy: Breaking-Up In Style

 Quick and Easy Illustrations by Mai Manaloto

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For a precious, fleeting period in my early 20s, I had a remarkable love affair with a guy and fashion. This discourse isn’t about the fantasy of romance, but is about starting fresh and keeping the love that stayed, hence fashion. Breaking up is a difficult undertaking especially if you still care about your partner and it’s no ones fault really. Just life taking its course. But whatever the reason, it’s always a somber occasion when you make a decision to split up with your significant other.

If funerals have a proper all black dress code, so does breaking-up. According to Vogue, after a break-up it's best to dress simple and casual with a sliver of sex appeal. Pairing comfort with low-key yet flattering pieces is the way to go – it’s important to look chic without being desperate. As a sign of being thoughtful to the ex, try not to look too good and memorable that he will be knocked over his head with all the loveliness he’ll be missing out from now on. But let’s get serious now. Sartorially speaking, a heartbreak can be the making of someone.

According to Coco Chanel, “If you are sad, if you are heartbroken, make yourself up, dress up, add more lipstick and attack.” This lovely woman who revolutionized the fashion industry knows a thing or two about women and heartaches. I want to introduce fashion therapy to all women out there sulking with their heartaches. Fashion therapy is a concept created to express the fact that clothing can be related to well being if used in an intelligent way.

However, it is arguable that fashion therapy may still be regarded as an excuse for extravagance. Nonetheless, in the world of medicine, fashion therapy is making small strides in healing individuals through its psychological effects. Clothes can be used to express who we are and how we want to feel. Also, finding the right style contributes to one’s well-being and that is always essential. Fashion can become medicine, metaphorically speaking. It can be an individual’s only way out of a very restricted, dull, restless or mediocre life.

Getting back out there does not mean you have to go through sartorial slip-ups just because a love has gone awry. Your wardrobe isn’t always a priority when you are going through a break-up but it should be to avoid having any regrets in the future. The first date or first night out in town is a key moment for the recently single. In this stage, it is tempting to dress sexy to attract attention and regain the confidence you lost, however this is not always the best solution. You have to be careful because you are still pretty new out of a long relationship and whether you realize it or not, you are vulnerable to getting hurt.

For some, they become experimental with fashion styles while others change their hair style or  hair color. These sartorial changes in yourself can be a symbolic gesture such as the chopping of hair means lifting off the weight of the past. Or changing of hair color to redefine yourself to a much confident person. The perpetual transformative power of clothing symbolizes liberation and spiritual awareness for most people. But truthfully, the best break-up style transcends the superficial nature of separation. Breaking up in the most stylish and fabulous manner is about keeping your emotions in check and remaining amicable during the break-up. Keep in mind that everyone deserves to be stylishly happy, even when single.