ILLUSTRATIONS BY MAI MANALOTO TAYNTON
I want to start this discourse with a candid speech. If you think you are leaving behind everything in your life for the person you love, do not make the impending move. It is irrefutable that you have a lot happening for yourself wherever you may be, not to mention all the clothing attire you have collected specifically blended to suit the tropical weather and the fashion network you have built over the years, but if your relationship can’t be your everything or love isn’t enough for you to make the move then perhaps it is best to stay where your world revolves at. Otherwise you will end up resenting your partner and isolating yourself in misery. Have you ever fallen for someone from another culture and the relationship turns into a serious one? When I first met my husband early last year, the attraction between us was electric. I will admit that it had something to do with the fact that he was British/English. Everything he exudes were unique to me and I am fascinated to learn all about what his life had been like. Fast forward to today, we are happily married and I still find him the most fascinating person. He is the only person I could see myself sharing this life with and growing old with. Along the way, I have learned new things about myself and that loving someone from another country brings with it a whole new dynamic into a relationship.
On a different note, there has always been a romantic notion when it comes to a career in the fashion industry especially with the growing interest, buzz and support for young designers. Having a job in the fashion industry may appear to some as exciting and a sexy career. In the realms of fashion, certain skills must be possessed in addition to artistic flair in order to get yourself started. Apart from the technical skills and training you acquire from fashion schools, learning how to network like a pro to get entry-level fashion jobs is a must. You can say that the industry has very high standards, making the interest in it even greater. The general public view when it comes to having a career in the fashion industry is far from the mundane and humdrum corporate routine work. There are also individuals who are not employed in the fashion industry but takes part in fashion. These are fashionistas, someone who has an eye for fashion, eager to understand what fashion is about, aware of local and international trends, and takes part in the fashion scene in their own town, city or country. As a fashion designer my world revolves around the fashion industry and like-minded individuals. However, it is important to note that I am also a wife. And that a career is only an occupation which does not define my entire existence. There are other aspects in life that are much more rewarding and thrilling than a career such as relationships.
The chasm between two individuals brought up in different cultures can create endless attraction. As a couple from two different countries, you will soon realize that one of the biggest hindrance to staying together is the fact that both of you will eventually succumb to doing long distance relationship at one point. However stressful the experience maybe, you have to push on regardless and remember that LDR means you really have to mentally commit to it. Doing LDR and keeping your promises along the way is perhaps one of the best ordeal a couple can do to prove that they are both genuinely committed to each other regardless of the time and distance. LDR is tough but the thing about distance is that it has a way of revealing what is truly important. And for me, it’s not my career or fashion, but being next to my husband. Moving across country or city to be with your one true love is a grand romantic gesture that can present opportunities and it is more common than people think. Surveys present that women are rather more likely to do the moving than men. Leaving behind familiarity and moving can be a daunting experience for anyone. It will require at least one of you to totally uproot and start over. Sartorially speaking, this also entails adjusting your wardrobe to suit the weather of where you are moving to. For my case, I will be moving to my husbands’ hometown in England. Most of my wardrobe consist of clothing complementary to the Philippine weather which are mainly, summer and rainy seasons. It would be interesting to start layering my style and putting ensembles for four seasons which are spring, summer, autumn and winter.
Ultimately, love migration and fashion career relocation is about where your values lie. Having given up my promising fashion position in a well renowned online fashion brand to follow my husband to England is one of the most liberating and exciting things I have done in my life. I used to think that my fashion designer career in the Philippines was my everything. Since my childhood, I’ve had dreams of becoming a fashion designer and being part of the fashion world. Fortunately, I did get my designer break when I was still studying my undergrad course, Bachelor of Science in Clothing Technology, in Philippine’s most prestigious university, University of the Philippines – Diliman. It wasn’t all luck landing that job, if not, it was barely any luck at all. I wanted it bad enough and worked hard to land my foot down in the fashion industry. In my younger, unmarried years, I would think that love isn’t enough of a reason to move anywhere. The only thing that would make me move is my fashion career. But I guess during those times when my convictions toward my career was strong, it was only because I haven’t met the love of my life yet. Love changes you and there isn’t any shame wanting to move for love or having a relationship determine where you are. Surrendering to a healthy loving relationship is one of the best things I have ever made in my life.
If you are someone like me who is passionate about a career in the fashion industry, a healthy loving relationship will never threaten your ambitions. Instead, it supports you and brings you even closer to accomplishing them. Now I am looking forward to embark on the UK fashion scene, quintessentially the epitome of fashion creativity. I left my fashion designer job in the Philippines because my husband and I are in the process of settling together in the UK for an indefinite period. It was hard having to leave my dream job but what made it really difficult was because it was my first job and first time to resign. My decision to resign earlier than my impending move to the UK pushed me into running my own fashion business full time. In the process of building my own brand, I learned new skills such as web design, website development, online marketing, graphic designing and accounting. Leaving my then dream job and moving for love all turned out much better than what I expected. I am still pursuing my fashion career and growing in the process but now things are more at peace in my life, putting my marriage above anything else. I am so pleased with my marriage that there is no hesitation in my mind and heart that there is nothing in this world that means everything to me but my husband.
