Fashion X-tasy And Therapy: Breaking-Up In Style

 Quick and Easy Illustrations by Mai Manaloto

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For a precious, fleeting period in my early 20s, I had a remarkable love affair with a guy and fashion. This discourse isn’t about the fantasy of romance, but is about starting fresh and keeping the love that stayed, hence fashion. Breaking up is a difficult undertaking especially if you still care about your partner and it’s no ones fault really. Just life taking its course. But whatever the reason, it’s always a somber occasion when you make a decision to split up with your significant other.

If funerals have a proper all black dress code, so does breaking-up. According to Vogue, after a break-up it's best to dress simple and casual with a sliver of sex appeal. Pairing comfort with low-key yet flattering pieces is the way to go – it’s important to look chic without being desperate. As a sign of being thoughtful to the ex, try not to look too good and memorable that he will be knocked over his head with all the loveliness he’ll be missing out from now on. But let’s get serious now. Sartorially speaking, a heartbreak can be the making of someone.

According to Coco Chanel, “If you are sad, if you are heartbroken, make yourself up, dress up, add more lipstick and attack.” This lovely woman who revolutionized the fashion industry knows a thing or two about women and heartaches. I want to introduce fashion therapy to all women out there sulking with their heartaches. Fashion therapy is a concept created to express the fact that clothing can be related to well being if used in an intelligent way.

However, it is arguable that fashion therapy may still be regarded as an excuse for extravagance. Nonetheless, in the world of medicine, fashion therapy is making small strides in healing individuals through its psychological effects. Clothes can be used to express who we are and how we want to feel. Also, finding the right style contributes to one’s well-being and that is always essential. Fashion can become medicine, metaphorically speaking. It can be an individual’s only way out of a very restricted, dull, restless or mediocre life.

Getting back out there does not mean you have to go through sartorial slip-ups just because a love has gone awry. Your wardrobe isn’t always a priority when you are going through a break-up but it should be to avoid having any regrets in the future. The first date or first night out in town is a key moment for the recently single. In this stage, it is tempting to dress sexy to attract attention and regain the confidence you lost, however this is not always the best solution. You have to be careful because you are still pretty new out of a long relationship and whether you realize it or not, you are vulnerable to getting hurt.

For some, they become experimental with fashion styles while others change their hair style or  hair color. These sartorial changes in yourself can be a symbolic gesture such as the chopping of hair means lifting off the weight of the past. Or changing of hair color to redefine yourself to a much confident person. The perpetual transformative power of clothing symbolizes liberation and spiritual awareness for most people. But truthfully, the best break-up style transcends the superficial nature of separation. Breaking up in the most stylish and fabulous manner is about keeping your emotions in check and remaining amicable during the break-up. Keep in mind that everyone deserves to be stylishly happy, even when single.

Fashion and Vita Sexualis: Nakedness And Modesty

Quick and Easy Illustrations by Mai Manaloto

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Vita sexualis is Latin for sex power or more profoundly, the power of sex in life. This discourse revolves around sex and the role it plays in fashion. Clothing alongside vita sexualis produces an avenue for self-liberation, modesty and a means for attraction by ornamentation. Beautification by means of fashion was intended chiefly for attraction. Tattoos were the first form of adornment applied on the body. It was conceived for the purpose of attracting a mate. In ancient times, a tattooed canvas was perceived as more attractive and desirable than a plain naked body. Soon after, more forms of bodily adornments were developed aside from inking the epidermis. Ornaments covered the naked body such as necklaces, bracelets and piercings made from sea shells, plants, stones, bronze, silver or gold.

Eventually, ornamentation progressed to weaving of fibers, leading to the eventual production of textile. In time, loin cloths wrapped around the waist were intended to cover the genitals. However, doing so only drew more attention to that particular body part simply because of the act of covering it. Evidently, clothing’s purpose is not solely to adorn the naked body but to cover it as well. The act of adorning oneself is a form of beautification for the purpose of attracting a mate. Clothing did not exist to gain a sense of modesty but rather, modesty is used as a tool for the purpose of igniting excitement towards the naked body. It has come to be understood that a naked body has less appeal than a veiled one.

Modesty plays an important role in vita sexualis. Most people, when they think of sex, think of bare bodies but don’t realize that the longing and excitement for a naked body is brought about by the covering of it, and thus modesty. With modesty comes a sense of shame, and in the realms of fashion the idea of shame is contextual. For example in a tribe, a naked person is not ashamed baring it all as it is part of their customs. On the other hand, a woman who is part of the decolletees ladies of the ball might feel embarrassed if she is under-dressed or has insufficient sartorial exposure during the event.

Fashion introduces two sexually exciting factors when it comes to dressing up. First it makes specific parts of the body more conspicuous by drawing special attention to them through the application of ornaments or by the cut and shape of the garment. Accentuating a specific body part by means of clothing comes with a belief that the dress or ornaments are an extension of one’s self, as if the additions are part of who we are. For example the wearing of heels, a continuation of the lower limbs, adds height and dignity to the wearer. Seemingly, with fashion other parts of the body can be specially emphasized. Second is the selection of which body part to expose (completely or partially). The idea of partial exposure of the body produces an erotic effect and sexual thrill. The erotic feelings brought about by partial exposure is perhaps the result of contrast as complete nudity is not nearly as provocative.

In a deeper discourse on modesty, one cannot forget its biblical reference.  According to Dr. C.H. Stratz, in the Bible Moses utilized the psycho-sexual effect of clothing by promoting the veiling of the female body. Apparently Moses wanted to increase the population of his small tribe in Israel through procreation. The covering of the female body created a sense of excitement for his masculine followers. Here you can see the purpose of clothing which is for modesty, whereas nakedness did not serve any purpose in the Christian doctrine and therefore is considered “immoral”. Fashion is utilized in Christendom for the purpose of arousing feelings of sexual desires with the veiling of the body. With this discourse, it is clear that the power of vita sexualis in fashion transcends the concepts of beautification and modesty but has an active role in supreme worship.

Source: From H. Ellis (2010), “Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Vol. 1 – The Evolution of Modesty; The Phenomena of Sexual Periodicity; Auto-Erotism,” Qontro Classic Books.